My Top 10 List

A friend recently challenged me to come up with the top 10 “Things I want in my life” list. Of course my first attempt at this is completely comical, but I am also a thought-provoking-individual, so I’ll do my best to integrate the 2.  Drum roll please… Here is the top 10 list of things I want in my life. I want…

10.  A tiny real elephant that fits in my pocket

Every elephant I see is named Peanut and I have a tiny plastic one protecting the entrance to my home.  Not joking.  Check my door frame next time you are over.  I think it stems from the only book I remember reading as a child, The Saggy Baggy Elephant.  Poor little Sooki didn’t fit in the jungle and it took him some time to find other elephants like him and become a confident elephant in his own skin.  I want one to keep in my pocket everyday to pull out, feed him a peanut, hear him roar, and make me smile like a little kid.  The only elephants that creep me out are in Dumbo, yes Dumbo.  Remember Dumbo getting drunk and seeing pink dancing elephants… I can’t watch that to this day.

9.  A unicorn

Simple explanation.  Do they exist or not?  If I had one, the mystery would be solved.

8.  People to come to my funeral

I don’t have a clue or belief as to what the after-life is like, but man would it suck if you can look down, or up, from wherever you are and no one’s at your funeral.  Guess you didn’t make a grand impression on anyone during your lifetime.

7.  A money tree

As I kid I wanted to swim through money like Scrooge McDuck.  These days, I don’t crave ungodly amounts of wealth.  I am a productive person and like to earn a living, but it’d be nice to be able to have a little extra anytime you needed it.

6.  5% body fat and perky 36Cs forever

Some days you just don’t feel like working out, so it’d be nice to know you didn’t have to.

5.  The ability to fly

Not in a plane, but like Superman.  I have dreams where I fly and it’s so damn fun I want to do it for real when I wake up.  Good thing I don’t sleep walk or I might jump out a window one day and not realize it.  If that happens, please refer back to #8.

4.  The Amazing Race experience

I love this show.  Love it Love it Love it.  Getting to realize what I love so much about it, has been a journey.  I used to think I was just about the travel or the cool stuff they did.  It’s not.  I figured out it’s about the challenge of being presented with something that you otherwise wouldn’t attempt yourself.  Challenging yourself to push beyond what you think you are capable of.  I use my monthly community events as a band-aid to the way this show makes me feel.  If anyone out there wants to audition… I’m all aboard!

3.  A blooper reel of all the stupid stuff I’ve done or seen in my life

This would include events like

  • Marching around my neighborhood as a kid in a trash bag holding an American flag.
  • Hiding under my bed because I broke my record player needle AGAIN and thinking my parents would eventually stop looking for me.
  • While running, I fell on 86th street during 5 o’clock traffic but tried not to scrape myself up and ended up in a push up position in the grass.
  • The time I fell in a bush and Kristin had to help me out.
  • The time my mother peed on a closed toliet lid while we were planning her father’s funeral and she was yelling at me for paper towels.
  • Putting up 2 fists to a lady at the Buffett concert because she knocked my pineapple and shark hat off my head.  Like it was in the way or something.  It was only 14 inches tall.
  • Walking home from the bars in college with a 4 foot orange cone on my head while my friend had a domed trash can lid on his and was shouting Space Ball quotes.
  • Bruising my ribs by going so fast up a wave at the Lake and thinking my life was over because I was going to hit a big orange buoy.

2.  To be able to give the gift of self-awareness

If I could only figure out how to physically wrap this up and put a bow on it… self-awareness.  My life was enriched about 2 years ago when I found out I had a blood clot.  I thought I was in control of my life and was doing all the things I needed to do and be, but ended up figuring out, I didn’t have a clue to who I really was as a person and what kinds of things motivate me to always be the best person that I can be for myself, my partner, my family and my friends.  I don’t think I can wrap up a blood clot and give it to someone.

1.  To never lose the ability to try to find happiness at every corner

I like being happy.  Of course you are saying “Who doesn’t?!”.  But it takes a whole lotta gusto to really seek true and utter happiness in your life.  I know it can’t happen all the time, that’s just not realistic.  But I think everyone is in control of their own happiness.  Simple example, I don’t watch the news anymore.  It’s filled with violence and crime and does nothing to add any value to my day.  I think that once a person finds out what happiness means to them, a gigantic light bulb goes on and the heavy weight we’ve been carrying with us for years, all the time we spend worrying and complaining about things, start to consume less of who you are.  At least they do for me.

There you have it.  The top 10 things I want in my life.  If you are up for it, challenge yourself with this exercise.  Be creative.  I could easily of rattled off a 6-carat diamond ring or $8.9 million dollar house in Hawaii.  But thinking deeper into the reason why something popped in your head to be on this list, what really makes you smile…  If I had a tiny elephant, I wouldn’t trade him for a lifetime supply of Jack!  (Can we make the list 11 things?  I forgot one…).