Fantasy Golf

Fantasy baseball, fantasy football… I have fantasy golf.  I was asked to join the group back in 2004 when a spot opened up.  Exit Simpson, Enter Fuller.  (insert joke here, Hickner)  There are just 4 of us and at one point we all used to work together at Golden Rule.  When GR sold off their Life insurance division to OneAmerica, Scott and Nate moved, while David and I stayed.  Then as luck would have it, I needed a job last year, and my boys came through for me and that’s how I ended up at OneAmerica.  Now David is all alone.  Don’t worry David, I’ll start sending you monthly job postings like they did to me for 4 years.

Here’s how the fantasy golf works.  First, it’s only for the 4 majors and we have to draw to see who goes first for each one.  Here’s our sophisticated random selection process.  Notice the small numbers in the corners.


Whoever gets #1 picks what tournament they want to select first for, then we each take our turn at our Major selection.  I was third and picked the PGA tournament to select first…  My chance at having Tiger as a pick will have to wait.

After that, we start picking golfers for the Major for that week.  This week is the Masters.  I’m sure there is a name for our selection method, but basically we go 1-4, then reverse and go 4-1 until we all have 5 golfers.  It’s a very selective process and no one shares their “prospectus” top 25 with each other.  We used to do it over email, but recently have been doing the live draft.  Today’s selection process was live at Hooters, hence the wetnaps in the photo. 

Here’s the crew that I got.  Mr. Phil Mickelson, Ernie “Whitey from South Africa” Els, Sergio “I hope I don’t blow up in round 2” Garcia, Luke “I sucked last year, but not again”, and Fred “I made 23 cuts and missed last year, so not again” Couples.  Basically, whichever of us has the lowest overall strokes by Sunday wins the event.  There are some special rules if your guy misses the cut or withdrawals… that usually leads to your guy getting +20 or something.  So if that happens to you, you pray it happens to everyone else so the scores aren’t drastically different.  I haven’t done too bad in my 4 year term.  Last year I finished 2nd for the season and had a finish place in each 1 through 4 spots.  I’m also 2nd place overall, so I need to step up my game this year…

A Window to the World

I took a week break from the manual labor scene, but decide my next home improvement project was going to be my front door.  Living in a condo, you have little options, but i’ve surveyed the community and found a few I liked.  I’ve been waiting for some Sunday sales and Lowe’s finally had a decent looking storm door in the paper for $100.  Sweet.  I went over to check it out.  Once I got there, I quickly realized this was low end in the product line and could practically pick it up with one hand.  Crap.  I’m in the mood, ready to buy, alright, give the deluxe model.  The Lowe’s guy and I got it to my car to realize it barely fit.  I literally had to sit under it while driving home.

I called up Papa Rick to see if he some time this week to help me out.  Just like a good friend, he gave up a few hours last night to help out.  I did my homework the night before by taking off the old door.  Once I took it off, I realized I didn’t take a picture!  Doah!  Here it is in the trash.


Rick came over and the box says “6 easy steps”.  Not sure who did the advertising on that because the directions clearly had over 20 steps.  It took us about 2 hours, 10 shims, 1 broken drill bit, but we got it.  Here’s the final product.


I love it!  Thank you so much Rick for helping me!  I realized I lived with the other one for so long because I never had to look at it.  All my neighbors did but not me.  While Rick and I were admiring our work, I said “It’s so pretty!” and my neighbor happened to be outside and she agreed.  I told her I did it all for her.

P.S. Yes, I blurred out my address.  Didn’t want to invite any unneeded stalkers to my doorstep.

EDIT:  Forgot to mention my dream connected to this story.  Kyle and I were on vacation and ready to pack up the car to go home.  No clue where we were, but I told him to go get the car and I’d get the luggage down the stairs.  Instead of carrying it down, I went to a different hotel room door, took it off the hinges, and started carrying it out.  I didn’t notice that people were in there sleeping until Matthew Lillard (a.k.a. Shaggy or creepy Scream movie dude) started chasing me down the hallway in his boxers while I’m running with the door over my head.  I woke up before he could get me.

Wheel of Fortune

I haven’t had very many vivid dreams lately, but last night I did.  I had a few, but this one seems to make the least sense.  Pat Sajak and Vanna White showed up to my condo around 3 am and let themselves in while I was upstairs sleeping… naked in my guest bedroom.  They knocked on the door and said “Hey we just wanted to stop by and say hi.”  I acted like I knew them and knew they were coming.  I said “Great, give me your cell phone numbers so I can call you later after I’m ready.”  They both gave stories as to why they didn’t have a number or even if they gave one to me, I wouldn’t be able to reach them.  So I said, “So how do I get on the show then, just go down to the studio and stand in line?  Anything special to get me in?”  Vanna says, “Nope you’ll have to wait in the hopper like everyone else.”   Guess it doesn’t pay to know to big dogs… even if it’s fake.

No clue where this came from.  Haven’t watched that show in quite some time.  Can’t relate it to food or drinking… I had steak stir fry with milk and 2 cocktails last night while watching the movie Australia.  No referece to WoF or those 2 in that movie.  Oh well.  We’ll see if I get something fun tonight. 

FYI – Australia is a phenominal movie.  For me, it ranks up there with the greats like The Patriot or Dances with Wolves.  Definitely see it in HD too.

I’m Afraid of Homeless People

Whenever I see a homeless person, I get a little scared.  I am not saying they are bad people.  I fear that the person will be unpredictable and you never know if something bad might happen.  I just steer clear of it.  Even if I’m in my car, my window is not opening to give food or money no matter how much I want to help.  And I really do want to help.  Maybe this will work for me…

Cinderella and My Wicked Step-Boyfriend

I never want to scrub a floor like that again! For the past 2 weeks, I’ve been helping Kyle with his latest home remodel project. After his bathroom remodel a month ago, he wanted to update his 80’s Aztec kitchen. I was fully on board because I hated the wallpaper, the lighting, the curtains, the blinds… well just about everything. Plus it was quite dirty since 3 guys live there and needed a good scrub down. Kyle offered up his kitchen as my Divine Design opportunity with the caveat that he could veto something if he didn’t like it. Deal! Let’s get working!  Some before shots…




Week 1 – First order of business was peeling wallpaper. This paper did not want to come off! It had been on there since 1982. The first round of gel didn’t even make a dent. So, I reverted to steaming the top layer off with an iron then using gel on the remaining layer. Once Kyle finished installing new flat switches and outlets, he got on the steam train and it went much quicker with 2 of us. During this week, we were also able to put a new light above the table, take down the old blinds and prime the walls. Here is an action shot.


Week 2 – Kyle is a bit adverse to color. He likes white, beige, neutral. I say “blah blah blah” to those colors. When I redid my condo, I went way too light upstairs and learned my lesson to try some bold colors when I redid my downstairs. Kyle had picked out a light gray. I vetoed that. After some negotiations we ended up with Charcoal Seal Gray. If you ask Kyle, he’ll say it’s purple. I disagree… maybe there’s a tinge of a tiny hint of purple.  We put a coat of white on the trim and windows to freshen up the look and added white wood blinds.

I put together a decorating budget of $350 and took Kyle to all my favorite discount stores to get vases, baskets, rugs, art…. And my favorite, a new stainless steel trash can. His trash can was so bad I didn’t even want to put trash in it. My last order of business was to scrub the floor. With a bristle brush, my Barkeepers friend powder and a bucket of water, I spent 5 hours scrubbing 50 square feet of linoleum. At this point I had kicked Kyle out of the kitchen and slap-happy set in. This is when I became Cinderella and starting complaining about my Wicked Step Boyfriend and the work he made me do. Instead of getting a glass slipper at the end, I got a glass of Jack. Tomato… Tamato… Here’s the finished product.  




A few things are still left to be done, but the budget has been exhausted. New countertops and cabinet pulls will come soon. We are debating staining the cabinets from the 80s brown to a cherry finish. What’s your vote?


Vegas Odds?

Normally, Vegas takes your money.  You’re lucky to break even and really really lucky to leave with cash in your wallet.  My buddy, we’ll call him “Pete”, went to Vegas for his yearly NCAA kickoff with old college frat bros and friends.  They go Wednesday thru Sunday.  Normally he’s balls to the wall excited… apparently I killed that with my text on Wednesday when he landed… scroll back to my Wednesday… pink slip day.  I knew “Pete” would be gone, so I text him to let him know I was safe and what was going down at work.  This sent him into a mild tailspin.  He was able to confirm, in a very short time, he was also safe and get on with his trip. 

He does have a rule to not bet on Purdue since he’s an alum, but something struck his curiousity as he sat in a sports book on the strip.  I know some things on gambling, but got an enlightening education today.  When a game is only a 1 point spread, the sports books don’t do a money line bet.  The Purdue-Washington game ended up being a 1 point spread.  Somehow… the money line bet was $240.  “Pete” noticed this and rounded up a few friends to make sure his logic wasn’t skewed by the oxygen being pumped into the casino.  Turns out, they all agreed that it was a once in a lifetime Vegas fuck up and a few got some bets in…. right before one guy was at the cage, a casino worker came up and said “take game” blah blah “off the grid”.  So, Purdue won and those that made it, were able to cash in and make some easy money.

“Pete” being the smart guy that he is, was still trying to figure out how this happened.  His logic makes since to me.  The game in Indy time was 5:40pm.  That’s 2:40 Vegas time.  Could some worker actually have accidentally typed in the game time and made a few alums alot of money????  We’ll never know!

Holliday Park Trail Run 2009

It was time for my favorite race of the year!  Indy has a ton of street races, but very few off road ones so I always look forward to the Holliday Park Trail Run.  The course is about 3 miles from my home, so I COULD have easily been training for this, but for those that know me, I don’t train.  That is just not my style.  My friend Jared was looking for a run to compete in, so he joined me for the 5 mile trek.




And one from after… 


During the race, I was in front of Jared and trying to take some backward shots of him running.  None turned out.  I gave him the camera for at one point and he was trying to take some “art” shots.  I told him as long as “art” didn’t involve my ass, shoot away!  Turns out, the camera was on video setting and we got some great Blair Witch like video!  Thanks for running with me Jared!!  We finished in a 10:27 pace with an overall time of 52:17.  I SWEAR the race was a half mile longer than they claim.