Am I gonna die?

I have a very limited diet.  Food has never excited me.  So when a food has to come off my list, I am very unhappy.  I used to love Sloppy Joes.  I would eat them every week growing up.  That was until one day, as an adult, Sloppy Joe came out my nose.  I don’t know what it was, but I was eating one and something didn’t agree with me and it made me sick.  I rarely, rarely throw up.  My body decided at this moment, it was time to throw up.  Once you have Sloppy Joe come out your nose because you are throwing up,  you’ll NEVER eat them again.  It was a very sad day for me.

I had heard some rumblings about a Salmonella outbreak.  I didn’t think much of it until I heard it was connected to peanut butter crackers… a staple of my diet.  If you don’t believe me, here is my snack basket at work.

crackers

Turns out the company that provides the bulk peanut butter to Keebler had an outbreak.  I was thinking “Great, I don’t buy Keebler”.  Well, they also sell crackers under the brand Austin.  Shit.  I’ve been eating Austin crackers for 6 months.  I’m not a miser about money but I hate to throw good food away.  I’m struggling with getting rid of these damn crackers.  My only motivation is 430+ illnesses and 5 deaths due to this Salmonella outbreak.  I can’t have my obituary read… Natalee J Fuller.  Death by crackers.

Bye Bye 26 packs of crackers.  We had a good run, but now it’s over for good.

 

  • Matt Lee

    Finally! Someone else who doesn’t get excited about food. For years, my friends have given me shit about not be “turned on” by trying new and supposedly exciting foods. I have always said, I get enough excitement in my life… I don’t need food for that.
    Anyway, sorry to hear about your loss. If you’re like me, Haagen Dazs Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough is always comforting in this type of situation.

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